Brenton
itumeleng kganyago
Shea
Always Eighteen
AhmedStars in my Head; Part Two; Chapter 7
January 31st 2008 00:48
SHARNEE’S BOOK
I spent the other day with Tom. It was so great.
You can’t put two uneven things together. You can’t make a Mike and a Sharnee combo, or a Jess and Maverick (urgh!) or a Mike’s Gran and George (Double Urgh!). You have to let what can be be and don’t go chasing impossibilities.
I think that_
I spent the other day with Tom. It was so great.
You can’t put two uneven things together. You can’t make a Mike and a Sharnee combo, or a Jess and Maverick (urgh!) or a Mike’s Gran and George (Double Urgh!). You have to let what can be be and don’t go chasing impossibilities.
I think that_
Sharnee stopped writing as someone knocked at the door. She walked up to it and opened it.
In front of her stood a puffed out Tom.
“G’day oh great spunkbubble with a chunky hair do.”
“Hey. Can you drive?”
“Not legally, but yeah.”
“Doesn’t matter. Get in the car and start it up. You wanna hear a conspiracy theory?”
“Always.”
“Good. When we get in the car, listen up. This one’s a ripper.”
***
Faith ran into Mavericks house and grabbed her clothes and everything else she owned, and began stuffing it into a large plastic bag.
“What’re you doing Faith?” cried out Maverick, running up to her. “You can’t just leave!”
“You turd. You liar. You told people to tell me Mike said we did it, didn’t you?”
“What if I did? I did it in the best interest of the town”
“I’m leaving.”
“NO YOU’RE NOT!” roared Maverick, standing up to his full height, which wasn’t actually as dramatic or imposing as you’d think. “You do not leave this house! Not till I am elected Mayor without fail! I have been giving my best to this town for seven years! SEVEN YEARS! And I will be dammed if I let you go off and bugger it all up for me Faith! Is this the thanks I get for my hospitality? HEY!?”
Faith stood and began to walk towards the door. Suddenly it smashed, bent in on itself in a massive crack and a splatter of woodchip. In the middle of it, stuck a silver axe. Faith turned, alarmed, to look at Maverick. He gave her a sinister grin and picked up a silver axe beside him.
“Don’t leave Faith. I am the Tin man after all... with props aplenty. Perhaps this one will fail to miss you. How do you escape with half a leg absent?”
“You’re insane.”
“Oh no. I’m not insane. I’m just desperate.”
“You wouldn’t throw it at me.”
“I wouldn’t kill you if that’s what you mean. But if I have to maim to gain my well-deserved place in this election – so be it! Now step away from my door.”
Slowly, Faith moved back and stood behind the table, pulling something out her pocket and, hiding it behind the table, started pushing buttons…
***
Mike sat at home, at his computer, throwing lightening bolts at little men. Suddenly he heard a beep in his room, from his mobile. A message. He paused the game and opened the message.
CUM 2 HEREBY - FD
FD. Faith Detorris. Mike got up and left his house, and began to run to the Herreby house, mobile in his hand. He didn’t care what she wanted. She wanted him there. That was all that counted.
***
Sharnee parked the car in Mavericks front yard and got out, followed by Tom.
“I never want to drive with you again Sharn.”
“I said I couldn’t drive legally.”
“Y’didn’t say y’couldn’t drive well.”
“I almost hit the car. Almost. I missed it easily.”
“Well you did miss it. Just.”
“Oh, nit-picking are w…”
TWHUMP!!!
Something hit the ground below the window of the Herreby House, only just missing Sharnee’s head.
“What the…”
“*DOO DOO LOO DO DO DOODLE OODLE OODLE OODLE OODLE LOO DO DO DOODLE OODLE OODLE OOD DOODALOODALOODALOODALOODALOOD ALOODALOODA LOOT DOOT DOOT*”
Sharnee bent over and picked up the ringing mobile that so nearly beheaded her.
“Hello?”
“Hi Faith it’s Mike…”
“Mike it’s Sharnee, Faith’s mobile just fell out the window of the Herreby house.”
“What? Why’re you there?”
“We were gonna give her a lift to your place. Oh yeah, Maverick’s been telling everyone to tell Faith that you told ‘em you did her so he could get that ‘Heart of Gold’ bullshit article to win the election. She wants you back. Congrats.”
“What? That’s great but… Maverick? What the hell?”
“It’s a bit hard to explain. I’ll leave it to her when she gets to your house.”
“She messaged me to tell me to come over there. What’s going- *BEEP*”
“On,” said Sharnee. “Batteries are stuffed.”
Tom and Sharnee looked up to the window at the top of the house. Faith stuck her body out the window and waved her arms.
“HELP!” she screamed, before being grabbed and hauled in by a silver pair of arms.
“What the.. Oh holy shit!” said Tom.
Sharnee studied the brick wall in front of her. It was totally covered by a massive vine-woven white wooden lattice. She grabbed a vine and gave it an experimental tug.
“What’re you doing?” called out Tom.
“Being a hero.” Sharnee grabbed a handful of Lattice and began to climb the wall.
“Be careful!”
“I am careful.”
“The little old lady you almost splattered would tell you differently.”
Sharnee continued climbing up the wall, moving up step by step. The lattice at the edges creaked and threatened to break. Tom cringed.
“Be careful!” he yelled again, but was left either unheard or ignored.
Sharnee reached the window and looked in. Maverick gripped an axe tightly on one side of the room. Faith sat looking out the window on Sharnee’s side.
Faith caught sight of Sharnee’s face and gave her an alarmed-then-quizzical look. Sharnee motioned for her to come closer. Slowly Faith leaned further out to the sill.
“Get ready to climb down a really big building,” whispered Sharnee.
Faith gave her a look that clearly meant ‘You can’t be serious.’ Then her face, probably from remembering it was Sharnee speaking, snapped into a sudden look of what could be described only as ‘Oh shit, she is serious.’
‘No!’ she mouthed. Sharnee nodded desperately. Faith shot a look at Maverick who got up and began to walk up to the window. Faith eyes widened. Sharnee’s face crossed in panic.
Faith jumped out the window, madly grasping and snatching random patches of vines and lattice, grabbing on, insanely combating gravity. Maverick lurched out the window, his silvery torso hanging out, one arm grabbing the air, the other swinging the axe dangerously near Faiths’ head, smashing through lattice and splattering her face with vine juice. The lattice wall creaked, threatening to break off from the brick and crash down on the ground below.
“Faith!” yelled Sharnee.
“Get down from there, fast!” yelled Tom.
“Yaaah!” yelled Maverick and grabbed Faith by the shoulder, trying to haul her back in. A vine grabbing the side of the lattice burst, the lattice jerking to the side, Sharnee loosing her balance and almost falling.
“Sharnee!” yelled Tom. “It’ll break”
Maverick hit Faiths’ back with the back of the axe. He flipped it over to the blade and aimed for her leg.
“Don’t worry Faith, there’s no permanent damage! Stay still dammit!”
As he jerked it back two things happened. Sharnee leaped for Faith, lost her grip and fell, grabbing a broken vine as she did. Her whole body jerked with it, lattice cracking, viney mash grinding up her fingernails.
At the same time, Mavericks living room door burst open to the scene and George ran in screaming swinging a metal rake. Maverick screamed and almost dropped the axe as George belted the rake into his groin, pushing him out the window.
As he fell he grabbed a handful of lattice, the entire frame cracking and jerking down.
The lattice frame fell.
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