When walking on the stranger roads
That are paved with angry toads
Be wary and don’t slip or trip
Lest ye get venom in your lip
When walking on odd roads that squish
For being paved with twitching fish
Take care to tread with gentle feet
For fish do fear the fate they’ll meet
When walking stranger roads again,
Paved with lying, thieving men
Ignore their words along your way
Lest you be then led astray.
She looked alright, not the sort of girl who would transform into an evil monster and devour my head. Back then I was happy that she was a normal human being. She suggested we go to this fancy sounding restaraunt. I had never done the whole 'dinner at a fancy restaraunt' thing and I wasn't too keen on it but that was what she wanted.
Upon arriving and being seated we were given fancy menus which was a kind of first for me as the only menus I've ever seen tend to be hanging up on walls. The food also had strange names, I'm more accustomed to 'chicken shnitzel' than 'Torrone Artigianle' what's worse is that the meal came in courses meaning I had to find three different things to eat on the one night out of this god awful meal. The waiter asks what drink I'd like, I wasn't listening carefully but I think he phrased it in a really lame way. Any other day I'd have a witty response but not tonight, I was in a building full of people with no sense of humour.
I answer with a Dracula like evil 'I never drink vwine', after he left I explained to the loverly lady across the table that it had to do with my sixteenth birthday and lots of bear and, well you can put one and one together. She couldn't though and it had gotten to the point of 'don't make me say it' and when she eventually forced it out of me she decided she would take offense at the story, like I cheated on her or something.
Our relative orders were... well relatively different in proportions, for a girl who was as skinny as my finger.... nail she sure had a big appetite, kind of like a python. Maybe she was a breed of snake? Perhaps it was the lighting but looking at her from across the table I could have sworn she was developing scales.
So the food comes, and she decides to break the silence with talk... and lots of it, goes on and on about her life and, well just her life. For the first time in my life I had gotten sick and tired of hearing my date speak (and that's saying something) and after an hour and two courses (she had something like FIVE of whatever it was she was eating) she pauses and says something like 'well enough about me, tell me about you... what do you think of me?'.
'I'm just wondering, how are you so skinny when you eat so frigign much?'
'I have a high metabolism'
'ah'.
Not knowing how it works at these fancy restaraunts I ushered the waiter, demanded he send the god damn bill, about the annual GDP of a small country, paid for it and just left leaving her to finish with her $25 Gelato.
Brenton
itumeleng kganyago
Shea
Always Eighteen
Ahmed
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