Brenton
itumeleng kganyago
Shea
Always Eighteen
AhmedStories with a Carrot #1
April 11th 2008 13:48
I dreamed of carrots on my third day of the diet. Like, clouds, big ugly orange clouds, in the air. And not made of carrot juice, like at first seemed (in the world of this dream anyway) to be the real logical possibility, but made of actual tiny carrots, like nanobots in that ‘grey goo’ scenario.
I wake up.
Breakfast is carrots. And so is lunch. I am getting to the stage where the sight, smell, taste and sound (yes sound; I cringed the other day when I heard celery snap) of carrots is making me feel physically ill. I am undoubtable doing lasting mental damage to my ability to associate Carrot with good feelings, like people who get terribly pissed on wine and can never drink it again. Stupid self inflicted bullshit.
The question is why, and the answer isn’t really there. It’s not an experiment, because we already know the answer; it’s called Carotenimia, it’s caused by excess keratin. It’s not funny. It’s not clever (done before many times). It’s not penance. Is it? It’s not, actually because that connotes guilt, and all I’m guilty of it eating carrots for a month or something. It’s meant to be a month I think. There’s no timeframe here.
There’s a moral here. Or an epiphany. Or a message. Or something. I’m pretty sure of it. Something about, ‘purpose’ or explanations of behaviour, maybe my behaviour, or some deep insight on human nature. Or on boredom? Maybe I’m learning something here; or maybe building character?
Action and purpose seem disconnected. But is that really new? Like, oh, the Japanese put my Grandfather in Changi = I’m going to beat up the Japanese exchange student who is completely disconnected from all that. My girlfriend broke up with me = let’s go to Byron Bay and take too many drugs. Cause and effect doesn’t indicate causative effect.
By the way; I’m like, starting to poo orange.
Winners do what they want. Losers do what they can.
And dickheads like me just eat too much carrot.
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