Brandon 2
KitaLEDGEND OF THE FISHCAKE WARRIORS:BOOK VI: FRED
July 12th 2007 11:36
Fred was too lazy to go through the herbs and spices isle so he went out of Woolworth’s, and made his way towards the transporter shop.
“The ones that are grown by Aussie farmers!” Said a passing young lout with big ears.On the way there the ground suddenly shook.
“Look” Cried a businessman.
“Carrotzilla!”
“Graw!” Cried the fifty-foot, many-toothed carrot. Fred stared at it, then ran into a nearby telephone box where he phoned his granny.
“Hello dear” She said.
“Hey Gran, It’s Fred”
“Who? What? When? Why? How? Is there a funeral?”
“No It’s Fred. There’s a fifty foot carrot terrorizing the city.”
“Mrs Aldersons one flew away this morning. It was only a thirty foot one though”
“No Gran, a carrot. CARROT!”
“Oh yes, that’s Carrotzilla. He’s looking for Mayor Bummyhead. He called me a silly old lady on the phone this morning, so I told Carrotzilla to eat him. Hah! No one messes with your Grandma my lad”
“Gran!”
“Well he deserves it”
“Make it stop. You must!”
“A Crust! A CRUST! YOU DARE CALL YOUR GRANNY A CRUST!”
“ No, I…”
“PIE! YOU CALLED ME PIE! I’LL SHOW YOU PIE MY BOY”
“Gran, it’s not…”
“I EAT WHAT?! SNOT! IT’S TIME YOU LEARNT SOME MANNERS MY BOY!!!” His Gran slammed down her phone. Something rang. Carrotzilla grumpily spat Mayor Bummyhead into a very big wallet and answered his mobile phone.
“Grer! Grumbershner. Gred! A grust! Grie! Greet Grot! Gri’ll grow grun grin groth grunderly grunks!” He pulled Mayor Bummyhead out and threw him at a sign that said ‘THANK YOU FOR NOT LISTENING’ and stormed towards Fred. Fred ran off, but before he could escape, Carrotzilla had sent fourth his trusty finger and flicked Fred off into the distance. Fred flew through the air, swallowing a fly and intercepting a sparrows passage of flight before landing on the Woolworth’s roof.
“I think I have heartily dismembered my groovy spleen” He groaned when he sat up. Carrotzilla stormed over to him. Fred tried to run, but found that his legs had fallen off.
“Well shave my poodle and fax my bed! They’ve fallen off again!” Carrotzilla reached over to pick up Fred, but with lightening speed Fred had pulled himself across the Woolworth’s roof and pulled out his rubber chicken and cane toad launcher. He screamed a heroic battle cry, with skill and determination in his eye (And thigh) and screamed
“I WILL WIN OR DIE!” Then he promptly fell through a weak part of the roof in a mass of dust, woodworms, various French cheeses and rather rusty nails. He pulled himself up.
“Ouch” He said. Carrotzilla loomed over him, reaching down to grab him.
“NOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOO” Cried Fred, frozen to the spot by his lack of legs. Panic spread through his mind like Vegiemight. Carrotzilla pulled out his mushing machine and threw Fred in where he was mushed into a gooey pulp, covered in lucious jelly, and smothered in dairy milk chocolate (Perfect served with fresh Red Stinging Nettle Milk available only from Jeweler®). He was then sold to Woolworth’s where he was put at the end of the isle in a large packet (Sealed for your protection).
“The ones that are grown by Aussie farmers!” Said a passing young lout with big ears.On the way there the ground suddenly shook.
“Look” Cried a businessman.
“Carrotzilla!”
“Graw!” Cried the fifty-foot, many-toothed carrot. Fred stared at it, then ran into a nearby telephone box where he phoned his granny.
“Hello dear” She said.
“Hey Gran, It’s Fred”
“Who? What? When? Why? How? Is there a funeral?”
“No It’s Fred. There’s a fifty foot carrot terrorizing the city.”
“Mrs Aldersons one flew away this morning. It was only a thirty foot one though”
“No Gran, a carrot. CARROT!”
“Oh yes, that’s Carrotzilla. He’s looking for Mayor Bummyhead. He called me a silly old lady on the phone this morning, so I told Carrotzilla to eat him. Hah! No one messes with your Grandma my lad”
“Gran!”
“Well he deserves it”
“Make it stop. You must!”
“A Crust! A CRUST! YOU DARE CALL YOUR GRANNY A CRUST!”
“ No, I…”
“PIE! YOU CALLED ME PIE! I’LL SHOW YOU PIE MY BOY”
“Gran, it’s not…”
“I EAT WHAT?! SNOT! IT’S TIME YOU LEARNT SOME MANNERS MY BOY!!!” His Gran slammed down her phone. Something rang. Carrotzilla grumpily spat Mayor Bummyhead into a very big wallet and answered his mobile phone.
“Grer! Grumbershner. Gred! A grust! Grie! Greet Grot! Gri’ll grow grun grin groth grunderly grunks!” He pulled Mayor Bummyhead out and threw him at a sign that said ‘THANK YOU FOR NOT LISTENING’ and stormed towards Fred. Fred ran off, but before he could escape, Carrotzilla had sent fourth his trusty finger and flicked Fred off into the distance. Fred flew through the air, swallowing a fly and intercepting a sparrows passage of flight before landing on the Woolworth’s roof.
“I think I have heartily dismembered my groovy spleen” He groaned when he sat up. Carrotzilla stormed over to him. Fred tried to run, but found that his legs had fallen off.
“Well shave my poodle and fax my bed! They’ve fallen off again!” Carrotzilla reached over to pick up Fred, but with lightening speed Fred had pulled himself across the Woolworth’s roof and pulled out his rubber chicken and cane toad launcher. He screamed a heroic battle cry, with skill and determination in his eye (And thigh) and screamed
“I WILL WIN OR DIE!” Then he promptly fell through a weak part of the roof in a mass of dust, woodworms, various French cheeses and rather rusty nails. He pulled himself up.
“Ouch” He said. Carrotzilla loomed over him, reaching down to grab him.
“NOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOO” Cried Fred, frozen to the spot by his lack of legs. Panic spread through his mind like Vegiemight. Carrotzilla pulled out his mushing machine and threw Fred in where he was mushed into a gooey pulp, covered in lucious jelly, and smothered in dairy milk chocolate (Perfect served with fresh Red Stinging Nettle Milk available only from Jeweler®). He was then sold to Woolworth’s where he was put at the end of the isle in a large packet (Sealed for your protection).
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Comment by Always Eighteen
Always Eighteen
I hate it when carrots attack!