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Downwrite - Every writer is a frustrated actor who recites his lines in the hidden auditorium of his skull; Rod Serling

LEDGEND OF THE FISHCAKE WARRIORS: BOOK IV: STAN/JAMES

April 20th 2007 04:50
BOOK IV: STAN\JAMES
James the bold walked boldly into the cereal isle for three steps before his alter ego Stan the unbrave took over. Suddenly the room seemed full of hidden dangers all waiting to destroy him. The Rice Popsies seemed sinister, the Froot Hoops evil, the Wheetie Bricks intent on his destruction, and everything seemed to be sitting there waiting for their opportunity to jump on him and pummel him into the ground. He screamed and ran through the isle. The rice popsies at the end, although being a peaceful species were enthusiastic tricksters, and they flowed from their packets and molded themselves into a horned rice popsie demon. Confronted by the sight Stan screamed and ran the opposite way where the Eggplant rice popsies had moulded themselves into a large purple nose which walked towards him and shot green broccoli rice popsies out it’s nostrils. The Wheetie bricks at the back who were also a peaceful species, yet lacked a sense of humor were unimpressed.
“I can’t solve this problem” Mumbled one.
“But I know who can”
“WHO?” They cried. Suddenly out of nowhere music blasted out.
“BAR BAR BAR ROU BOU BOU! BAR BAR BAR ROU BOU BOU! IT’S COWBO! IT’S COWBO! COWWWWWBO!! COWBO! BAR BAR BAR BAR BAR LIP BOU BOU. COWBO! DUN DUN!”
Swinging into the isle on a jungle vine was a large Mexican cow wearing a Sombrero.
“Yes it is I, Cowbo. If a problem is near, then do not fear, Cowbo is here. The rice popsies seem to need stopsies, Haha! Hahahahahahahahahaha!” Upon seeing Cowbo, Stan screamed uncontrollably and ran into the horned rice popsie demon and screamed and ran the other way where the nose and Cowbo stood. Cowbo stepped forward.
“It is time I think, to blow this nose. Hahah! Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!”
Cowbo grabbed his vine and swung forward where the nose turned and shot broccoli rice popsies at him.
“Now it is time to face up to the consequences. Haha! Hahahahahahahaha!” He grabbed the nose, which scattered back into the packets from whence it came.
“Those bubbles are too nosy. Haha! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahah a! Now for the demon! Please excuse me for not beeping my horn Haha! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahah a!” He stepped forward. “I hope this demon is not scheamin’! Haha! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahaha! Or Steamin’, Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahahahahahahaha!, OR DREAMIN’!!!HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!” By this time Cowbo’s jokes had somehow changed Stan back into James the bold.
“Shut Up! Shutupshutupshutup! I’m sick of your jokes!” Cowbo’s bottom lip trembled, tears welled in his eyes and his tail flopped between his legs. Then he shot his milk-ray at James. A wave of milk hit him and pushed him backwards into the demon who shattered back into a mass of rice popsies, and washed them both out of the isle.

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