Brandon 2
KitaLEDGEND OF THE FISHCAKE WARRIORS: BOOK VIII: THE SAGA CONTINUES.
August 22nd 2007 03:10
At the end of the isle everyone checked their injures.
“I have a bruised head,” said Aunty Oxidant.
“I have no hair, pierced ears, full makeup, and a hundred Band-Aids that refuse to get off my scratched knee” claimed Mudd.
“I’m all covered in milk” sulked Stan.
“I have no weapons and my nose is gone.” proclaimed Max.
“My hand is crushed, my surname crossed out and I smell like beetroot” announced Loci Brokili the cool and funky disco breaker.
“I’m a chocolate bar” said Fred, and made crying noises, even though chocolate bars can’t cry. Everyone made sympathetic noises.
“Awww”
“Ohhh”
“Boohoo”
“Fuuuung”
“Pleat” Stan suddenly decided that pleat was his favourite word and began to chant it until Aunty Oxidant (still upset at not getting anything from the confectionery isle) wobbled her huge bum and sat on him until he sneezed for mercy. Mudd picked up Fred and put him in his pocket to put in his wife’s turnapersonwhowasachocolateba rbackintoapersonagainifier.
“Come” Said Max.
“We must now journey yonder down the freezer isle.” Without speaking they turned around and began to journey yonder down the freezer isle. The cruel cold winds lashed against their skin. Penguins in business suits, skated down the path of ice. One of the penguins ate a tub of yogurt and exploded in an immense and terrifying blue red flame with a deafening pop!
“Even the yogurt is cursed with the evil of the fishcakes. They must be close.” Said Mudd as he was flopped by a flying flapping flipper.
Where the penguins had stood lay a smoking pair of penguin feet. Aunty Oxidant picked them up and squeezed her fat feet into them.
“Look at me! I’m a penguin! Quack quack quack!”
“You’re a nutter, that’s what you are.” Said Mudd.
“Penguins don’t go quack!” Said Loci Brokili the cool and funky disco breaker, who had a small family of them who lived in his shower and ate jelly beans.
“They go ‘Bwornk’”
“Shut up” Said Max.
“You shut up” Said Loci Brokili the cool and funky disco breaker.
“No, you shut up.”
“Both of you shut up!” Said Aunty Oxidant.
“Shut up!” They yelled.
“You shut up first!”
“No you!”
“You shut up!”
“Shut up!” Said Mudd.
“SHUT UP!” Yelled Loci Brokili the cool and funky disco breaker, Aunty Oxidant and Max.
“Let’s all shut up” said Stan.
“SHUT UP!” Yelled Loci Brokili the cool and funky disco breaker, Aunty Oxidant, Max and Mudd.
“SHUT UP!” Yelled the penguins.
“SHUT UP!” Yelled the nose gobbler.
“SHUT UUUUP” Sang the toiletries.
“SSSSSSSSSSHUT UP” Hissed the lolly snake.
“SHUT UP” Yelled the lost class of 1992.
“Please be quiet” Said their teacher.
“SHUTTUP” Yelled Nat the frog.
“SHUT UP!” Yelled little sister.
“GRUT UP!” Yelled Carrotzilla.
“SHUT UP!” Yelled all the Shoppers and the fruit bats and the window cleaners and the singers and dancers and tinkers and tailors and soldiers and sailors and government agents and film stars and that funny little dog in the fruit juice commercial and people who made plastic cats and pro basketball players and all the people who’s bums fell off due to radiation poisoning and computer geeks and cows and donkeys and teachers and cheesecakes and ants and lumberjacks and hard-core bikies and their mums who made them lunch in dinky little lunchboxes and rocket scientists and fleas and carnivorous socks and firemen and even little old ladies who had no teeth.
Everyone shut up.
They continued until they got to the end of the freezer isle. Then they saw a large sign by the tunnel to the second level of the shopping centre. Crudely written in tarter sauce was;
Worning: No entrense beyond this point. Bi order of the eevil fishcakes – masters of evil, villiny, trechery, beestlyhood, etc. Any dim-witted fool hoo dares enter will die a horribil and sumwat iky deth (posibly involving magits and blenders)!ggggiiig.
“Maggots!” Cried Aunty Oxidant.
“And blenders!” Gasped Loci Brokili the cool and funky disco breaker.
“And Fishcakes!” Exclaimed Mudd.
“Oh My,” said Fred.
“What an uneducated lot these fishcakes are to write such badly spelt signs,” commented Aunty Oxidant.
“Nah” said Mudd. “It’s just a cliché”
“I like cliché’s” said Ernie the burger man.
“You weren’t in the story two lines ago! Where did you come from?” asked Max.
“I dunno.” Said Ernie and disappeared from the text again, but not before Aunty Oxidant had stolen twelve burgers with the lot.
They entered past the badly spelt sign. The dark tunnel echoed their every footstep.
Suddenly the lights blew on and three fishcakes; Agmort, Cruze and Mebumsnum road high on their crusty seeds and attacked them with mildly rusty razor blades. The warriors fourth back with their rubber chickens and cane-toad launchers, yet their weapons were no match for the skill and stamina of the fish cakes. Cruze swung his razor blade at James and chopped off his eyebrows. James, who had been growing his eyebrows into an eyebrow afro got cranky and jumped at Mebumsnum who threw him to the ground. As he hit the floor he found a highly explosive cheese-ball. He threw it at the fishcakes and it highly exploded, blowing pieces of fishcakes and crusty seeds across the room. Fire blew across the floor. Aunty Oxidant began spitting on it.
“Run! Hurry!” Cried Max, hurrying the fishcake warriors to safety. The flames blew across the ground. Aunty Oxidant kept spitting on it.
In his hurry to escape, Mudd fell in the fire and burst into flame. Aunty Oxidant ran over to his side, and began spitting on him. He poked her nose then stopped, dropped and rolled.
“Fire rhymes with fire.” Said Loci Brokili the cool and funky disco breaker.
They escaped the fire drenched tunnel and ran into the not-so-holy temple of the fishcakes.
“I have a bruised head,” said Aunty Oxidant.
“I have no hair, pierced ears, full makeup, and a hundred Band-Aids that refuse to get off my scratched knee” claimed Mudd.
“I’m all covered in milk” sulked Stan.
“I have no weapons and my nose is gone.” proclaimed Max.
“My hand is crushed, my surname crossed out and I smell like beetroot” announced Loci Brokili the cool and funky disco breaker.
“I’m a chocolate bar” said Fred, and made crying noises, even though chocolate bars can’t cry. Everyone made sympathetic noises.
“Awww”
“Ohhh”
“Boohoo”
“Fuuuung”
“Pleat” Stan suddenly decided that pleat was his favourite word and began to chant it until Aunty Oxidant (still upset at not getting anything from the confectionery isle) wobbled her huge bum and sat on him until he sneezed for mercy. Mudd picked up Fred and put him in his pocket to put in his wife’s turnapersonwhowasachocolateba rbackintoapersonagainifier.
“Come” Said Max.
“We must now journey yonder down the freezer isle.” Without speaking they turned around and began to journey yonder down the freezer isle. The cruel cold winds lashed against their skin. Penguins in business suits, skated down the path of ice. One of the penguins ate a tub of yogurt and exploded in an immense and terrifying blue red flame with a deafening pop!
“Even the yogurt is cursed with the evil of the fishcakes. They must be close.” Said Mudd as he was flopped by a flying flapping flipper.
Where the penguins had stood lay a smoking pair of penguin feet. Aunty Oxidant picked them up and squeezed her fat feet into them.
“Look at me! I’m a penguin! Quack quack quack!”
“You’re a nutter, that’s what you are.” Said Mudd.
“Penguins don’t go quack!” Said Loci Brokili the cool and funky disco breaker, who had a small family of them who lived in his shower and ate jelly beans.
“They go ‘Bwornk’”
“Shut up” Said Max.
“You shut up” Said Loci Brokili the cool and funky disco breaker.
“No, you shut up.”
“Both of you shut up!” Said Aunty Oxidant.
“Shut up!” They yelled.
“You shut up first!”
“No you!”
“You shut up!”
“Shut up!” Said Mudd.
“SHUT UP!” Yelled Loci Brokili the cool and funky disco breaker, Aunty Oxidant and Max.
“Let’s all shut up” said Stan.
“SHUT UP!” Yelled Loci Brokili the cool and funky disco breaker, Aunty Oxidant, Max and Mudd.
“SHUT UP!” Yelled the penguins.
“SHUT UP!” Yelled the nose gobbler.
“SHUT UUUUP” Sang the toiletries.
“SSSSSSSSSSHUT UP” Hissed the lolly snake.
“SHUT UP” Yelled the lost class of 1992.
“Please be quiet” Said their teacher.
“SHUTTUP” Yelled Nat the frog.
“SHUT UP!” Yelled little sister.
“GRUT UP!” Yelled Carrotzilla.
“SHUT UP!” Yelled all the Shoppers and the fruit bats and the window cleaners and the singers and dancers and tinkers and tailors and soldiers and sailors and government agents and film stars and that funny little dog in the fruit juice commercial and people who made plastic cats and pro basketball players and all the people who’s bums fell off due to radiation poisoning and computer geeks and cows and donkeys and teachers and cheesecakes and ants and lumberjacks and hard-core bikies and their mums who made them lunch in dinky little lunchboxes and rocket scientists and fleas and carnivorous socks and firemen and even little old ladies who had no teeth.
Everyone shut up.
They continued until they got to the end of the freezer isle. Then they saw a large sign by the tunnel to the second level of the shopping centre. Crudely written in tarter sauce was;
Worning: No entrense beyond this point. Bi order of the eevil fishcakes – masters of evil, villiny, trechery, beestlyhood, etc. Any dim-witted fool hoo dares enter will die a horribil and sumwat iky deth (posibly involving magits and blenders)!ggggiiig.
“Maggots!” Cried Aunty Oxidant.
“And blenders!” Gasped Loci Brokili the cool and funky disco breaker.
“And Fishcakes!” Exclaimed Mudd.
“Oh My,” said Fred.
“What an uneducated lot these fishcakes are to write such badly spelt signs,” commented Aunty Oxidant.
“Nah” said Mudd. “It’s just a cliché”
“I like cliché’s” said Ernie the burger man.
“You weren’t in the story two lines ago! Where did you come from?” asked Max.
“I dunno.” Said Ernie and disappeared from the text again, but not before Aunty Oxidant had stolen twelve burgers with the lot.
They entered past the badly spelt sign. The dark tunnel echoed their every footstep.
Suddenly the lights blew on and three fishcakes; Agmort, Cruze and Mebumsnum road high on their crusty seeds and attacked them with mildly rusty razor blades. The warriors fourth back with their rubber chickens and cane-toad launchers, yet their weapons were no match for the skill and stamina of the fish cakes. Cruze swung his razor blade at James and chopped off his eyebrows. James, who had been growing his eyebrows into an eyebrow afro got cranky and jumped at Mebumsnum who threw him to the ground. As he hit the floor he found a highly explosive cheese-ball. He threw it at the fishcakes and it highly exploded, blowing pieces of fishcakes and crusty seeds across the room. Fire blew across the floor. Aunty Oxidant began spitting on it.
“Run! Hurry!” Cried Max, hurrying the fishcake warriors to safety. The flames blew across the ground. Aunty Oxidant kept spitting on it.
In his hurry to escape, Mudd fell in the fire and burst into flame. Aunty Oxidant ran over to his side, and began spitting on him. He poked her nose then stopped, dropped and rolled.
“Fire rhymes with fire.” Said Loci Brokili the cool and funky disco breaker.
They escaped the fire drenched tunnel and ran into the not-so-holy temple of the fishcakes.
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