John Howard was overpowered
By a giant robot gnat
Pushed him away, into the bay
And it seemed that that was that
But good old John, with muscles strong
Came out of the ocean's wave
Beat the bot with a coffee pot
and said 'bet you don't feel so brave!'

Kevin Rudd came along a flood
Tearing up old West Murrup
saw a kitten, gripping a mitten
would it survive? it looked like a 'nup'!
So off with his coat and into the moat
boldly forth, went Kevin
a gesture so bold, so the kitten could get old
and not go up early to heaven

Bob Brown was mugged by a clown
with plans for unspeakable evil
to infect the water, and hence slaughter
millions with eggs from a weevil
But Bob knew he must fight with all of his might
To prevent this cruel attack
So he pulled off its shoes and drenched it in booze
and it ran off and never came back