Brenton
itumeleng kganyago
Shea
Always Eighteen
AhmedThe Soccer Match
November 3rd 2008 05:54
Write Anything Sports Related (I'm serious, I found this near impossible)
Team one – Archimedes, Jesus of Nazareth, Budda, Sigmund Freud, Bill Gates, George Bush, Cathy Freeman (Goalie).
Team Two – Socrates, Mohammed, L Ron Hubbard, Carl Jung, Steve Woznak, Hillary Clinton, Pauline Hanson (Goalie).
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand we’re off! Mohammed gets the balls, kicks to Woznak, Woznak kicks to Socrates, but it’s intercepted by Bush, Bush kicks to Freud, kicks to the goals… oh but Hanson stops it, to the sound of a thousand cheering Asians who don’t think she’s so bad now she’s dancing with the stars.
Hanson throws to Hubbard who misses, almost looses the ball to Jesus, but his Thetan stretches out and saves his sorry arse, he kicks to Jung, who kicks it past Freud (boy does he look pissed at that) and Freeman trips over her Aboriginal flag and… It’s in!
Almost ready to continue play, but there’s a bit of a biff going on between Freud and Jung… oh! A punch to the face! Jung’s off to the blood bin, Freud to the sin bin, yelling what sounds like ‘you know bloody well it doesn’t mean I want to shag my mother!’
Bush talks to the ref, getting rather angry, claiming some sort of foul play, saying the other team have some kind of secret advantage. A brief search of the players has no lunch finding these supposed WMDs. Bush doesn’t care. He just does a little strut. His incredible muscles have been attributed by some to steroid use, but we’re assured he hasn’t used steroids since 1974.
And we’re back in the game! Clinton kicks it, she’s one with power, but it’s intercepted by Budda – and he’s one with everything! Budda kicks to Jesus who misses, and uses his own name in vain, before judging himself, then asking himself for forgiveness which he graciously gives and receives.
Gates has the ball now, and doesn’t look like giving it up, kicks the ball to Archimedes, who kicks towards the goal… Hanson is too busy telling Freeman to go back to her own country and doesn’t notice and… BAM!!! One all!
Ready to play for the winning point, Socrates has the ball, kicks and… oh no! Hits Gates in the face. He’ll have to pay a fine for that, hopefully it won’t lead to trouble…
Woznak has the ball, kicks to Hubbard who is distracted by a conversation with Tom Cruize, ball goes to Mohammed, but he’s too busy laughing at an amusing Danish cartoon, eventually picked up by Gates, who kicks and… SCORES!!!
And now, a word from our sponsors –
“What the hell was the point of all that? Enjoy Coke, bitch.”
IMAGE
Team one – Archimedes, Jesus of Nazareth, Budda, Sigmund Freud, Bill Gates, George Bush, Cathy Freeman (Goalie).
Team Two – Socrates, Mohammed, L Ron Hubbard, Carl Jung, Steve Woznak, Hillary Clinton, Pauline Hanson (Goalie).
Play Was Resumed after Bush Attacked the Playing Field on 'Bad Intellegence'
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand we’re off! Mohammed gets the balls, kicks to Woznak, Woznak kicks to Socrates, but it’s intercepted by Bush, Bush kicks to Freud, kicks to the goals… oh but Hanson stops it, to the sound of a thousand cheering Asians who don’t think she’s so bad now she’s dancing with the stars.
Hanson throws to Hubbard who misses, almost looses the ball to Jesus, but his Thetan stretches out and saves his sorry arse, he kicks to Jung, who kicks it past Freud (boy does he look pissed at that) and Freeman trips over her Aboriginal flag and… It’s in!
Almost ready to continue play, but there’s a bit of a biff going on between Freud and Jung… oh! A punch to the face! Jung’s off to the blood bin, Freud to the sin bin, yelling what sounds like ‘you know bloody well it doesn’t mean I want to shag my mother!’
Bush talks to the ref, getting rather angry, claiming some sort of foul play, saying the other team have some kind of secret advantage. A brief search of the players has no lunch finding these supposed WMDs. Bush doesn’t care. He just does a little strut. His incredible muscles have been attributed by some to steroid use, but we’re assured he hasn’t used steroids since 1974.
And we’re back in the game! Clinton kicks it, she’s one with power, but it’s intercepted by Budda – and he’s one with everything! Budda kicks to Jesus who misses, and uses his own name in vain, before judging himself, then asking himself for forgiveness which he graciously gives and receives.
Gates has the ball now, and doesn’t look like giving it up, kicks the ball to Archimedes, who kicks towards the goal… Hanson is too busy telling Freeman to go back to her own country and doesn’t notice and… BAM!!! One all!
Ready to play for the winning point, Socrates has the ball, kicks and… oh no! Hits Gates in the face. He’ll have to pay a fine for that, hopefully it won’t lead to trouble…
Woznak has the ball, kicks to Hubbard who is distracted by a conversation with Tom Cruize, ball goes to Mohammed, but he’s too busy laughing at an amusing Danish cartoon, eventually picked up by Gates, who kicks and… SCORES!!!
And now, a word from our sponsors –
“What the hell was the point of all that? Enjoy Coke, bitch.”
IMAGE
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