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High Metabolism

March 7th 2008 11:03
She looked alright, not the sort of girl who would transform into an evil monster and devour my head. Back then I was happy that she was a normal human being. She suggested we go to this fancy sounding restaraunt. I had never done the whole 'dinner at a fancy restaraunt' thing and I wasn't too keen on it but that was what she wanted.

Upon arriving and being seated we were given fancy menus which was a kind of first for me as the only menus I've ever seen tend to be hanging up on walls. The food also had strange names, I'm more accustomed to 'chicken shnitzel' than 'Torrone Artigianle' what's worse is that the meal came in courses meaning I had to find three different things to eat on the one night out of this god awful meal. The waiter asks what drink I'd like, I wasn't listening carefully but I think he phrased it in a really lame way. Any other day I'd have a witty response but not tonight, I was in a building full of people with no sense of humour.

I answer with a Dracula like evil 'I never drink vwine', after he left I explained to the loverly lady across the table that it had to do with my sixteenth birthday and lots of bear and, well you can put one and one together. She couldn't though and it had gotten to the point of 'don't make me say it' and when she eventually forced it out of me she decided she would take offense at the story, like I cheated on her or something.

Our relative orders were... well relatively different in proportions, for a girl who was as skinny as my finger.... nail she sure had a big appetite, kind of like a python. Maybe she was a breed of snake? Perhaps it was the lighting but looking at her from across the table I could have sworn she was developing scales.

So the food comes, and she decides to break the silence with talk... and lots of it, goes on and on about her life and, well just her life. For the first time in my life I had gotten sick and tired of hearing my date speak (and that's saying something) and after an hour and two courses (she had something like FIVE of whatever it was she was eating) she pauses and says something like 'well enough about me, tell me about you... what do you think of me?'.

'I'm just wondering, how are you so skinny when you eat so frigign much?'
'I have a high metabolism'
'ah'.

Not knowing how it works at these fancy restaraunts I ushered the waiter, demanded he send the god damn bill, about the annual GDP of a small country, paid for it and just left leaving her to finish with her $25 Gelato.
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Microfiction – My Son, Thomas.

March 3rd 2008 12:59
I arrive at the airport. The place is white. Light. Sterile. There is the hustling flow of people, kitchness, tiredness, shuffling and snatches of conversation.

Jesus. I need a ciggie, real bad. Or something. Check watch – fuck sake. Plane wasn’t even delayed.

Some Asian girls get off. They have stockings with cartoons all over, drives right up their legs. Wicked sexy. Asian sluts don’t shave though. Mores the pity.

I pick up the book I’ve been reading, a James Patterson one. You can usually find one title or another on the shelf on remainder, hardcover, cheaper than the trade size, so it’s worth buying. I begin to flip through.

“Hey.”

I look up. It’s my Son, Thomas, waiting in front of me, some other bloke, pale, faggy looking kid waiting beside him.

“Hey,” I say.

There is a short uncomfortable silence. Nobody looks game to move. The kid beside Thomas takes the chance to pipe up. He extends his hand. “G’day,” he says. I take it and shake; his grip is limp, weak, like trying to grip some dead rat on the verge of rotting.

“Who are you?” I say.

“I’m Jackson.”

“Hm”

“Let’s get a drink,” says Thomas. He looks nervous. “There’s a Café nearby, I’m sure. I need to get my caffeine fix.” Jackson laughs politely.

“I’m not thirsty,” I say. “You didn’t tell me you were bringing somebody else with you.”

“No,” he says. “I ah… it seemed difficult on the phone. Jackson is… he’s my partner. Boyfriend.”

I nod slowly, and put my book down on the chair next to me. I stand, look my son in the eye and shake his hand.

“You should probably get back on your plane,” I say. Then I turn, and walk off, leaving behind the airport and its ebb and flow of stupid people, the hot Asian gril, and the silent figure of my son, Thomas.






PROMPT: Write a piece of Microfiction with the theme 'Family'.
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10 Simple Rules in Writing

February 27th 2008 11:32
1. Shorter sentences are often better.
2. Don’t vary words for ‘said’ too much. ‘Said’ is often better than ‘yelled’, ‘stated’, ‘exclaimed’ etc.
3. Two adjectives max. per noun.
4. Made up names not too long.
5. Less characters better. Consider replacing the smaller ones with larger characters in extra roles.
6. Simple font.
7. No similar names – Jack and Jake etc.
8. Avoid tangents
9. Correct punctuation.
10. Remove everything that doesn’t progress the story.
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Should I kill him?

February 25th 2008 12:18
One of the great questions that authors face is the question of killing off characters. When should I, etc. This list should help out.

YES IF


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Opportunities for Writers

February 20th 2008 01:43
A QUICK REMINDER: FOR OPPORTUNITIES FOR WRITERS TO GET NOTICED AND (GASP) PAID, HAVE A LOOK AT THE LATEST VIGNETTE PRESS OPPORTUNITIES PAGE HERE.
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1 Bad People are Pretty Cool. I don’t mean to defend the whole pimp, serial killer, drug dealer, pornographer scene. What I do mean is that when a Heroin dealer is hanging out at the pub with his mates, he isn’t wearing a scowl and a trench-coat and a scowl. He’s just an average everyday bloke enjoying a laugh and a cold one – and he just so happens to deal Heroin. I’m not telling you your bad guys can’t be bastards – just that they can’t be comic book cut outs. Don’t write about ‘Killers’ and ‘Dealers’. Write about interesting character who also ‘Kill’ or ‘Deal’.

2. Things that end up OK aren’t always complexly resolved. It really makes me cringe when you read about someone really badly offending their friend or relative, and never apologising or making amends. However, this is a good cringe – it means someone has captured the reality of unresolved-ness.

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Bus Stop

December 9th 2007 10:55
PROMPT: Depict an interaction between three characters.

The man reaches into his pocket, pulling out a cigarette, shifting uncomfortably on the bus stop seat. He stuffs it between his lips and tries unsuccessfully to light it


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Stories on Blogs

December 3rd 2007 12:38
Jack Kerouak On the Road Scroll
We need to stop thinking of stories on the Internet as Adaptations of this kind and instead consider them as a NEW art form.


Stories have been around for many, many years. Before literacy skills were widespread, they were often spread by word of mouth. After the invention of the Gutenberg press though things changed. Stories when written would emphasise words with large text – when spoken, would have important bits spoken with emphasis. Complex places and creatures could even be drawn rather than described


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Eternal

November 27th 2007 09:25
A Prompt for Writing - Try to write a short story where one or more characters are able to live forever.

My attempt


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Labrador

November 25th 2007 11:15
Write a story based on two random words.

Mine were Peace and Lab.
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Plush Monkey
I was out at the market when I found the most adorable looking plush monkey. Without a moments hesitation I bought it and took it to my love interests apartment. After knocking on the door (and waiting for what felt like forever) she opened the door, I held the plushy monkey up and said 'when I saw this monkey I instantly thought of you'.
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10 Fatal Character Mistakes

November 9th 2007 13:00
1. Stereotype
It sounds obvious but it's a hard one to avoid. Especially when certain character subversions (like the good which, the 60 year old homeboy) are always becoming popularized to the point of becoming new stereotypes. The literary world does not need another subversive female dame or world weary cynical detective with family problems. Usually if you flesh out your characters enough you'll be able to shy away from stereotype. otherwise just make sure you give each one something special. Eg, your killer lies sci-fi movies and is writing a screenplay, or your detective is an ex-raver.

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Pineapples.

August 27th 2007 09:47
I wake, with a sore head, and vague memories of falling tins of pineapple juice. I remember crawling under a shelf to avoid the light, which hurt my brain.

Groggily I crawl out. My eyes adapt to the darkness. I frown. Why darkness? Where did daytime go?

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Swallows and Amazons

August 21st 2007 03:49
This is the First Chapter of the Classic Children's Adventure 'Swallows and Amazons' updated for modern times.

_____________________________ _____________________________ __________


[ Click here to read more ]
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