Brenton
itumeleng kganyago
Shea
Always Eighteen
AhmedStars in my Head: Part Two; Chapter Four
January 21st 2008 00:48
SHARNEE’S BOOK
I had another strange dream last night. Mike and I were in the hot jungle or forest or whatever and Faith came up to us. I told her her house was on fire. I picked up a coconut and spun it north to prove my point.
She left, and I told Mike I tricked her with a fake coconut. He smiled, then took off my pants, and his pants, and we screwed eachother.
I’m fighting with my mum. Apparently my teacher rang and told her I was obsessed with death.
So? Everyone dies.
I’m just more comfortable with it.
I had another strange dream last night. Mike and I were in the hot jungle or forest or whatever and Faith came up to us. I told her her house was on fire. I picked up a coconut and spun it north to prove my point.
She left, and I told Mike I tricked her with a fake coconut. He smiled, then took off my pants, and his pants, and we screwed eachother.
I’m fighting with my mum. Apparently my teacher rang and told her I was obsessed with death.
So? Everyone dies.
I’m just more comfortable with it.
Sharnee sat in her house, in a darkened room, lying deep in a broken couch, staring at the bottle of vodka and tablets on the table. She heard the door open behind her.
“Who is it?”
“Tom.”
Sharnee didn’t speak again. Tom shut the door and sat down beside her.
“What are you doing?”
“Thinking about suicide.”
“Don’t”
“I won’t. Sometimes I get all depressed and I just sit here like this and think about it.”
“Why?” Sharnee shrugged. “You ever gone further than thinking?” She shook her head.
“Good.”
They sat there for a while, silent and staring at the coffee table.
“The other day, in the bike shed…”
“We hooked up.”
“Yeah.”
“I just wanted to tell you I love you.”
There was a silence in the room. Faith picked up the bottle and had a drink of vodka, then broke away her eyes to look at Tom.
“I want to love you. I don’t.” she shrugged. “Sorry Tom.”
This time there was a long silence. Tom looked over to the empty fireplace.
“Can we... you know... anyway?” Sharnee gave a small smile.
“Yeah. OK.”
***
Faith walked into the school without her bag, or uniform for that matter. She didn’t really care. It was the last week of term, schoolwork done assessment complete. Both she and Mike had totally buggered up in the chemical equations.
From what she’d been hearing, Mike and her were totally buggered up anyhow.
“Hey Faith,” called Tanya, a girl she did Food Tech with. “Did you do it with Mike”
“No” She was past being angry, past being annoyed, just answering the question with a hint of resentment.
“He told me he did.”
“Did what, Tanya? Did-bloody-what?”
“You”
“Did he? Good on him. What a champ he is.”
“You OK?”
“No! I’m not OK. Mike’s been pissing around town telling everyone I screwed him! That’s bullshit! I’m a virgin, Tanya. And, whether you think I’m frigid for it, or whatever crap this whole dam school wants to put on me, fine. But that’s who I am, and if no one can handle it, or Mike can’t shut the hell up, then you can all just piss off.”
Faith left, and ran up the stairs to the port racks.
***
Mike didn’t see much of Faith that day. She spent most her time in the principals office for coming in incorrect uniform. Rumours were going nuthouse about her. Everyone wanted to know – what was up with Faith?
In Science she sat beside Silky Chook, Michael stuck beside Tom. He couldn’t catch up with her in maths. She wasn’t really around at lunch but he knew where to find her.
Faith sat behind the sport shed on one of the many deteriorating hay bales. She watched the ants scurry around.
“Hey.” Mike came around the corner and looked at her.
“Go away.”
“Why.”
“I don’t want you to be here with me.”
“Have I done something Faith?”
“Yes.” Mike walked beside her and sat on the hay bale. “You squashed my ants.”
“Faith, what did I do?”
“Have you been telling everyone we screwed each other?”
“No!”
“Why do they think we did then?”
“I dunno. George probably, Sharnee or Tom.”
“Why are people telling me you told them?”
“What? I didn’t tell anyone!”
“Maverick said you told him.”
“I would tell Maverick nothing, only some moron would trust him.”
“Oh, I’m a moron? I’m living there at the moment, while my mum goes nuts, you spread bullshit and Sharnee fantasies about you.”
“Maverick lied to you. I told him nothing”
“He made up a story?”
“I wouldn’t put it past him”
“Why the hell would he do that?”
“I dunno, maybe it’s some weird thing he’s doing for the election, I don’t know.”
“This is crap. I don’t want to be with you anymore.”
“For crying out loud Faith…”
“FUCK OFF! I don’t like you, I don’t want to be with you, you’ve screwed up so much! Go away.”
Mike stood silently in front of Faith for a while.
“OK. I’ll go. But when I was with you I would have walked through the forest with you.” He wasn’t making sense to her, he knew that. But it was important for him to say this, even for his own benefit. “When I was with you the room was full of food and people and flowers. I would have swum through the water.” He gave a small sad smirk. “But hey, screw that. You hate me. Great. I told the school we had sex apparently, woo hoo we’re over. Great.”
“Just leave. I love you Mike. And that’s making it harder.”
“You don’t love me.”
“What if I do?”
“Then you won’t tell me to leave. Then you’ll take my word over some psychotic Tin Man actor weirdo. Then you’ll tell me not to go before I leave you now.” Mike looked at her. She stared directly in front of her.
“Right. Right then. That’s that is it? OK. Goodbye.”
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