THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT
July 6th 2007 06:15
She thought of hope as this thing that went farther and farther away, and he went farther and farther away, and when she stepped closer, he would only stumble farther. She couldn’t complain, for what was there to complain about, what kind of ungratefulness did she truly deserve? It never rained it was always sunny but she was there. There was no sad song on the radio but she was there. Children laughed but she was there. She was there her curly hair. Her makeup and finger prints and fingernails and that extended, cruel silence – it had no beat, it had no rhythm, it had no up or down it was simply there and it chose not to abandon her. It embraced her whether she liked it or not. That silence, the cloudy drop. Where is he now, what is he eating? Where are you now? What are you eating? She did not know how, nor what breath she was seeing. And she met a man and paid him to tell her it’s not her fault, her heart would not halt for her body, it was not her fault. His smile was fake and his eyes were broken, and they lay on top of crumpled sheets, and he whispered, This Is Not Your Fault.
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